I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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