is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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