Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
