Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
