Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize