i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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