Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i think my cat just said my name.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
