Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
