After last night, I could never be a politician.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
FUCK WHALES
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
