I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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