Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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