I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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