Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
