you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
