no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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