I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
