Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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