So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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