Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
