Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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