its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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