i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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