Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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