i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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