i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
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Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
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You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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