There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
