I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It was like giving head to a cactus.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
