I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and she was petting her beer can
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
