We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
