Screwed.edu
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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