i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
