I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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