I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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