Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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