She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
