I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
