My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize