I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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