I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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