Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
