There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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