she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
