That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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