discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize