I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I look better un-naked...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
