I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
