dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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