To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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