My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
