Sponge bath it is.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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