just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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