i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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