mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
